


102

by baeklisa



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble? I guess, F/F, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, like angsty asf, really short, rosie is a smoker oops, writing a sequel soon though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25076368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeklisa/pseuds/baeklisa
Summary: Jisoo calls Rosie in the middle of the night to announce exciting news, and Rosie isn't as happy as she pretends to be.
Relationships: Kim Jisoo/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 15
Kudos: 46





	1. 102

Rosie would be lying if she said she wasn’t extremely nervous.

She’s gripping the steering wheel of her freshly washed silver Kia Sorento way more tightly than needed, wetting it with sweat that can’t seem to stop pouring out of every cell inside of her palm. A cigarette loosely hangs in between her pointer and middle finger, half burnt, her sixth one in the past hour, with the butts of the previous ones sticking upwards from her car’s ashtray. She hates the habit, but it helps her relax, despite significantly decreasing the number of mints inside the package she just bought today. Jisoo says she doesn’t mind the putrid smell of nicotine and burnt paper. Rosie doesn’t really believe her.

Jisoo. Spawn of the devil. The reason Rosie’s nerves are acting up, causing her to finish the sixth cigarette she had and aggressively slap it face down into the ashtray, hammering it in to get rid of the fire. Nothing worse than finishing a cigarette. The relaxation only stays for minutes, and the only thing you’re left with is silence, the shameful smoke curling upwards and the smell entangling itself in your bones. 

With that, Rosie takes a sharp left turn and makes her way to a nearby parking lot, deciding to park away from the house instead of the driveway. She manages to catch an empty spot, and with a quiet screech of her tires and a removal of the key, the motor shuts down, leaving Rosie in deafening silence. She shuffles through her bag rather quickly - as quick as her shaky hands let her - and grabs her YSL perfume bottle, spraying wherever she could while popping another mint in her mouth, hoping the two will at least somewhat erase the product of her nervousness that seemed to hang over her like a veil. Grabbing her phone and sneaking another mint in the pocket of her leather jacket, she opens the car door and breathes in the fresh air. There’s barely anyone in the street, although she doesn’t really expect anyone to be there at 2 am. She didn’t even expect _herself_ to be there at 2 am, but emergency calls, so she locks the car behind her and makes her way down the neighbourhood, hurrying towards Jisoo’s house.

Rosie attempts to calm her nerves, deep breaths in and out, but there’s no point in that anymore, so after a few seconds she gives up and lets her fidgety hands rub the hem of her black leather sleeves, scratching and rubbing at anything in their close proximity, almost like they have a soul of their own.

She makes her way past all the perfectly decorated houses and lawns, reading the numbers etched above the doors, counting down until she finally got to the one that always felt most homely. With the empty clothes hanger sitting to the right of the entrance, and a rusty blue bike with the color half scratched off it on the left, the house finally appeared in front of her vision, the white plastic door with a tiny tinted window displayed “102” right above it.

Rosie makes her way down the tiny concrete path from the driveway to the front door, and she’s faced with the “102” before quietly knocking on the door twice, pulling out her phone to inform Jisoo that she’s here in case she didn’t hear. But before she could open the contact with Jisoo’s grinning face staring at her from her phone screen, the door quietly opens, and Rosie is faced with Jisoo.

Jisoo Kim is standing at the front door, in her bright red, comfy pajamas, and big bunny slippers, with her signature huge grin plastered on her face, her body almost trembling with excitement. Even though she’s tired, confused, and anxious out of her mind, Rosie can’t help but smile back. Happiness is contagious. Or maybe she’s just happy when Jisoo is too.

Jisoo motions for her to come inside, and whisper-yells in Rosie’s face to the point where she can practically feel Jisoo’s spit hitting her face; “Come in! And be quiet, my parents are sleeping.”

Rosie complies, walking inside and letting her rubber soles hit the wooden floor of the Kims’ house, quickly untying her boots and following in Jisoo’s steps upstairs to her room. Jisoo is practically jumping with excitement, walking with a bounce in her step, a stark contrast to the frankly tired and confused Rosie, drearily making her way up the stairs, her feet dragging along like a burden. 

As soon as Rosie follows through the wooden door of her room and sits down on the mattress, Jisoo closes the door and starts freaking out, as quietly as she possibly could. The grin on her face stretched from ear to ear, she practically radiates happiness as she balls her hands into fists and starts shaking them, screaming in Rosie’s face (as loud as she can, of course, without waking up her parents). Rosie lets out a quiet laugh.

“Okay, okay, calm down! What happened?” She chuckles, covering her smile with the palm of her hand. She really can’t help but grin when Jisoo’s grinning.

“The best thing ever!” Jisoo yells.

“Jennie just asked me to be her girlfriend!”

Oh.

Rosie’s grin can’t help but falter briefly. She wants to be happy for her. So bad. So bad that it’s killing her inside.

She feels her throat closing up, and a sob scratches at every wall of it, desperate to escape through her lips. Words beg to be said. Fingers shake. But she can’t.

Those mere seconds of pure destruction feel like they’re ripping her body into tiny pieces, but she does what she does best. Pretend, distract, ignore.

“That’s amazing!” Rosie sincerely hopes the quiver in her voice falls on deaf ears.

“Wh-What did you say?” she stutters.

“Oh my God, I said YES, of course!” Jisoo grins back at her, hands gripping her bedsheets in pure, innocent excitement.

Rosie swallows. She swallows back everything. She swallows back tears threatening to pour out, she swallows back a confession, she swallows back a tantrum, and she swallows back the sharp pain penetrating her ribs like a knife stuck in her ribcage, because there’s nothing else to do.

She wants to scream, she wants to cry, she wants to give up. Give up on her image of being the strong friend. Give up on her image of being Jisoo’s reliable best friend. She’s not sure how much she can take anymore. All she wants to do is grip Jisoo’s cheeks and beg her for a chance. Beg her to see how much she’s trying. Beg her to love her. Even if she doesn’t, Rosie thinks. _She can pretend to love me._

Her tears are short of a second from slipping out. Rosie bites her lip to stop it from quivering.

Jisoo is happy. And Rosie wants her that way. So maybe it’s for the best.

“I’m so happy for you, Soo. You guys are gonna be the best couple.” She grins at Jisoo, who was clearly expecting this kind of reaction.

“I KNOW RIGHT?! Ahh, I’m so excited. God, is it early to ask her to marry me?” Jisoo’s eyes shine so brightly in the darkness to the point they could light up the whole room. Every word is a punch in the gut for Rosie.

She manages to let out a forced chuckle at Jisoo’s joke. She knows she’ll never, ever be what Jisoo wants. She’ll always have to be by the sidelines. And it’s fucking killing her.

“She’s just so amazing… She’s so cute. She has a gummy smile, and it’s sooooo cute, it makes me happy when I see it. Her cheeks too, oh my _God_ , her cheeks! She really reminds me of a dumpling, I have to show you!” Jisoo whisper-shouts in pure happiness, hands motioning along with her speech in the form of sweater paws, her entire body radiating joy as she excitedly pulls out her phone to show Rosie pictures of her new girlfriend.

Rosie’s heart breaks. Again and again. Repeatedly. She wants to drown in sorrow, drown in her tears, in loneliness, knowing Jisoo will never be in love with her like she is with Jennie.

Yet she smiles and waits patiently for Jisoo to pull out Jennie’s Instagram. Because, at the end of the day, she loves Jisoo. More than anything in this world.

_I’ll smile for you,_ Rosie thinks.

_I like the way your face looks when you’re yappin’ on about her._


	2. 102 - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie doesn't like 102 anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the sequel I procrastinated for like 2 months straight <3 Hope you enjoy!

Rosie can’t say she’s so fond of 102 now.

The house used to be a place of comfort for her, the place where her heart remained no matter how far she went. The house once meant peace, comfort,  _ love _ . And she’s afraid it’ll never mean that ever again.

It no longer means peace. Now it means anxiety, dread, speed-walking through the neighbourhood, trying to avoid any glances at their lawn, afraid it might trigger tears once again. It no longer means comfort. It means a sense of loss and a hurl of insecurity, wondering where it went wrong. It no longer means love. It means heartbreak. It means Jennie. It means wishing she never, ever, met Jisoo.

It feels wrong to say that. And she’ll never say it out loud. But God, does she sometimes truly wish she never met Jisoo.

She wouldn’t be hopelessly, uncontrollably, in love with Kim Jisoo. She wouldn’t have to approve of date outfits, she wouldn’t have to put lipstick on for her that Jennie would like, she wouldn’t have to let her love someone else while ignoring the penetrating pain in her ribs that only seemed to worsen as days went by. She wouldn’t have to stare her in the eyes and pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t.

Rosie doesn’t hate Jennie. She wishes she could. Maybe things would be easier.

She met Jennie, actually. On a sunny April day, Jisoo had dragged her out of the house in a bright yellow sundress and bare minimum makeup, to finally meet Jennie at a nearby Starbucks over a cup of coffee, in hopes of making the 2 most important women in her life friends. 

And was she stunning.

A whole 162 cm package, wrapped in a Chanel two-piece and platforms, makeup professionally done and shoulder-length brown hair nicely brushed without a single hair sticking out, topped off with the brightest pearly smile that showed off her gums, and a pair of cat-like eyes. Jennie was everything Rosie wasn’t.

The blinding ray of confidence she seemed to radiate wherever she sat, the expensive brand tags Rosie could only dream of wearing, all around her perfect self, was everything Rosie feared. She was everything Rosie wanted to be. She was charming, confident, annoyingly gorgeous, and in possession of Jisoo’s heart. Rosie couldn’t be more jealous.

Yet she still sat at the opposite end of the table, smiled her way through the conversation, and downed the coffee every time a tear was threatening to slip. It had really only hit now. Rosie could never compare. Bold of her to think she ever had a chance. Like Jisoo would ever pick her over Miss Perfect.

Rosie wanted to hate her. So bad. She wanted to hate her stupidly perfect face, her stupidly perfect body, her stupidly perfect fashion sense, yet she couldn’t seem to do it. She was jealous, unbearably so, but she could never hate her.

Because, in reality, Jennie was a sweetheart. She asked how her day had been, she promised she’s not stealing Jisoo away (Rosie’s chuckle had been quite bitter), she complimented Rosie’s dress and her puffy cheeks. She’d been everything but mean and malicious.  _ Of course her personality was perfect too. Why wouldn’t it be?  _ Rosie was convinced the big man up there really had something against her.

The return home from the short coffee date wasn’t all too perfect either. She could somehow bare the irritatingly bright pearly grin that Jisoo was shoving in her direction, asking Rosie a million questions about what she thought of Jennie, and her lovesick sighs about how she’s  _ “so damn perfect!” _ , but the real issue started when she had finally gotten home.

As soon as they exchanged goodbyes and the barrier of a wooden door was shut, Rosie’s tears started rapidly falling, as if on cue. She still remembers banging her fist at the door angrily so hard that her knuckles became alarmingly red, mascara completely ruined, wallowing in her own despair. In a fit of blinding rage and unstoppable tears, she stomped over to her room, swiping her arm against the table, sending the piles of books, her favorite bags, a half empty glass of juice and her white ceramic ashtray straight to the floor. Rosie just couldn’t do it anymore. She’d hidden everything - she hid her tears from herself, stopped any grieving, any nostalgia that wanted to creep it’s way into her brain so bad, because maybe that would make it stop. Maybe denial of everything would make do. As if nothing ever existed.

Her next move was throwing her chair down, along with the huge pile of her clothes, praying it would break at the impact, as if that would somehow mend her aching heart. That’s when she buried her face in her hands, falling on her knees right into the pile of clothing, sobbing into her palms, wishing it would all just stop. 

She weeped and bawled her heart out, she cried for what felt like years, she felt every stab in the chest from all of Jisoo’s previous girlfriends to all their stupid fights to  _ that  _ night. She felt bruised and battered, but maybe it was time.

When her tears had dried and all that was left was sleepy red eyes and a runny nose, she looked around at the clothing sprawled under her thin legs, and started picking it up one by one, sniffling, yet pretending as if nothing had ever happened. She was amazing at that - ignoring her feelings and all the excruciating pain that came with them. Besides, the laundry won’t do itself.

Rosie’s bony fingers wrapped around every single piece of clothing, bringing it up to her nose to see if it was clean or not, until she finally got to her last bright pink button-up shirt. She’d absentmindedly smelled it like any other one, until the faint yet so very familiar smell of Jisoo’s favorite perfume filled her senses, and the muscles in her arm turned weak, and she shakily set the shirt back down. And dread settled back in. As it always eventually did.

Rosie had kept away from 102 ever since Jisoo first told her about dating Jennie. She couldn’t bear it, and she hoped Jisoo’s feelings weren’t hurt, but she was convinced she’d rather die than walk through that damned door ever again.

That’s why when she got a new message at 1 am, telling her to come over because it’s an emergency, her brain was telling her to go, but her heart knew it was too much to handle.  _ Emergency, huh. She must’ve proposed. _

Jisoo’s pleading tone caused a bit of an alarm to go off in the back of her mind, so she decided to bite. Maybe not fully, but bite regardless. 

_ I can’t come _

_ delivered at 00:59 am _

_ I’m calling instead _

_ delivered at 00:59 am _

The phone barely got a chance to ring, when the line connected and Jisoo’s bubbly voice spoke through the phone.

“ROSIE, hey!” 

Jisoo was way too awake and Rosie way too asleep for this conversation.

“Mmhey.”

“Why can’t you come to my house? This is important business!” 

Rosie rubs her eyes lazily, letting a long yawn drag out of her mouth to buy her time for an excuse.

“I’ve got the worst headache, I can’t drive right now. Did anything happen?”

“Awe. Have you tried painkillers?” Jisoo’s worried tone seeps straight into Rosie’s heart, filling it with warmth. After all this time, she still makes her chest burst with fireworks.

“Yeah, but that’s not the point. What were you gonna talk about? Did you do anything?”   
  


“No! I mean, not really. I just came to this… sudden realisation. And I  _ had  _ to share it with you. Because you’re my best friend. And I’m so happy.”

“Go on then, Elon Musk. What’s the big realisation?”

“I love Jennie.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


What else was she expecting, honestly?

She’d gotten so good at pretending to be okay, that, physically, she wasn’t fazed. Her expression remained stone cold, but the sob that was clawing up her throat at lightning speed had to be stifled down. She had to remain happy for Jisoo. She’ll always listen to her lovesick rambling, no matter how many figurative stabs in the heart it’ll take. That’s what best friends are for, right?

“No, actually, I’m in love with Jennie.”

Rosie physically feels her heart shattering yet she puts on a pathetic, weak smile, as if Jisoo could see it through the phone.

“I love her so much, and… I don’t know, I wanna tell her so bad. But, it’s like, 1 am, and she’s a morning person, and she’s probably asleep by now, and I don’t wanna bother her. And I’m also scared that maybe she won’t say it back.”

“So you decide to bother me instead?” she hopes the slight quiver of her voice would go unnoticed.

“You’re my best friend! You’re here so I could bother you!” Rosie can’t help the eye roll that she knows Jisoo can’t see.

“Don’t sweat it, Chu. I just know she loves you back. She’d be crazy not to.” God, she promised herself she wouldn’t tear up.

“You’re right. I’m so amazing and beautiful and irresistible, she must love me back!” 

“I never said any of that.”

“But you know it’s the truth!”

“Whatever, Chu. I’m just saying, I saw how she looked at you when I met her. She 100% loves you. And I’m happy for you. Your single ass finally has someone.” Hearing those words come out of her own mouth feel so foreign.  _ You’ve always had me. _

“You really think so?”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t fall for the great Kim Jisoo?”

“Oh shut up, now you’re just mocking me.”

“I’m serious!”

“God, I just love her so much… I don’t even know, Rosie. She bought me this huge bouquet of tulips the other day, and she looked so happy when she gave them to me, and she said, you know, in like, her cutesy voice, ‘ _ Oh, I’m so happy you liked them, baby. It was so hit or miss, about halfway to your house I realised you might be allergic.’  _ Like, AH ROSIE, whenever she calls me ‘baby’ it’s just, ugh… literal butterflies. And also there’s this thing she does where…"

  
Rosie’s learned to sit and listen through all her ramblings, sometimes blend them into background noise when it gets too unbearable. Lone teardrops slide down her cheeks as she patiently listens to Jisoo’s stories about her girlfriend and sadly smiles at the grinning Jisoo from her contact picture. Her eyes shift to the white clock she hung next to her own handmade paintings, and watches as it ticks 1:02 am.  _ How ironic. _

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was super short but I'm writing a (equally short) sequel soon so hopefully that makes it up for you! Also heavily based off the song 102 if you haven't picked up lol


End file.
